The Really Untrue Story of What Became of the Dinosaurs

A bazillion-trillion years ago, stars twinkled in the sky. Two entities one male and another female watched the galaxies and all of its inhabitants:

“Well hello?” The male entity says to his partner the female.

“Good morning.” She responds.

“Did you enjoy your rest?” He asks, while peering intently toward Earth.

The female entity glances at her male partner, grabs his binoculars and shrugs, “Anything good happen while I slept?”

“Well there’s been a steady progression, but essentially it’s the same species down there.”

“Ugh, they’re ugly.” She tosses the binoculars in her partner’s direction.

“Now, now Mama. That’s very xenophobic of you.”

“C’mon Papa, they’re hideous and they stink. What is that large one doing?” She says.

“Which one, they’re all large.”

“No, the largest one bellowing.” She begins to laugh. “Look at that. All it’s doing is stretching its legs and the others take off running in the other direction. Ooh, something just flew into its mouth.” She squeezes up her face in disgust, then fakes throwing up.

Papa grins wickedly, and then proudly announces, “I named him Tyrannosaurus Rex.”

“Do you hear that? What’s that voice?” Mama asks.

Papa shrugs, “It’s coming from up ahead. Her name is Aretha. They call it soul music.”

“How long do I have to wait for that?”

“Hmm, don’t rush me woman. I’m cooking here.”

“What’s that?” She begins flashing different colors. “That sound. I really, really like this one.”

“They call it Rock music. I believe her name is Stevie.”

“You didn’t answer my question.” Mama continues to flash multi-colors and then pokes Papa. “How long do I have to wait?”

He mumbles, “60-75 million years, give or take.”

Mama laughs, “No, really. How long?”

“We have to wait for this group to evolve and die. It’s not the other’s time yet.” He looks at his partner for empathy. “C’mon Mama, I know they’re not as pretty as us, but it’s their lifetime right now.”

“Can’t I just speed things up a bit? Where’s that remote control?” Mama asks.

Papa takes the remote from his jacket pocket, “It’s right here, and no speeding. This has to simmer on low for as long as it takes. Trust me, the results will be well worth it.” Papa continues to watch the Dinosaurs roaming.

“Humph, they look like your mother when she wears that hideous necklace that she keeps threatening to give to me.”

Papa responds indignantly, “I keep telling you, that’s not a necklace. That’s her ring. You may call her Jupiter.”

“Ooh, what’s that sound now? It changed into something completely different! It’s like someone captured the beat of what your Tyrannosaurus sounds like when he walks around.”

“Yes, it does. My, you’re right. That’s…”He squints, “That’s Timbaland, Justin Timberlake and Nelly Furtado, and it’s called Hip-Hop. Listen Mama why don’t you season this a little. You have such creative ideas.”

“I see you’ve stopped glowing on your right side.” She says to Papa.

“Yes, I’m a bit tired.” Papa replies.

“Do you want to recharge a bit? I can take it from here.” She offers.

“Yes, that would be wonderful. It’s so tiring doing this work all alone.” He responds.

“Not another word. Plug into a nice little star. See that one twinkling over there. She’s cute.” She suggests.

“You don’t mind? There are two kitchens. You know we have to keep them separate.” He inquires.

“Mind…no, I have to make a few calls and I’d like to have some associates over while you’re gone. You don’t mind do you?” She asks.

“No, no, see you later,” He responds by singing, “Twinkle, twinkle little star…”

“Bye dear.” Mama grins angelically as Papa moves into another galaxy for rest. Once his light is completely out of sight she heralds a group of asteroids and winks towards a moon.

The moon shows his face, and it is handsome. “Mamacita! I saw you blinking earlier. You know I like it when you light up.”

“Shh, the sun might hear you.” Mama admonishes.

The asteroids take turns kissing her, “Mama you look marvelous. It’s been ages.”

“You boys are so kind.” She replies.

“Listen my sweets.” She brightens up in the direction of the moon.

“Screw that sweets stuff, you want something.” An asteroid offers.

“My, you’re so uncouth.” She replies, “I like that about you though. I like it when you’re really rough and direct.”

The asteroids move closer to Mama, and then rush through her orbs of light. The moon rolls his one good eye.

“You boys are so much fun,” Mama giggles, “We have plenty of time for that. I have a job for you.”

“See, what did I tell you. I knew she wanted something. Don’t be coy Mama. What’s it going to be this time? You want me and the boys to slam some planets for you?” The biggest asteroid asks.

Mama hands him her binoculars, “Here, take a look down there. See if you can figure out what I need.”

The asteroid takes the binoculars, looks partly into them and jumps back, “Damn, that’s hideous.”

“No, they’re just different. We shouldn’t judge based on what’s familiar to us. Remember my initial response to you? I thought you and the other asteroids were the rudest little…”

“Yeah, then we had a talk and you never thought that again. Did you?”

“No, it’s the very thing I like about you.” She brightens, nearly smiling. “Yes, well we need to talk about the task at hand.”

The moon jumps back into the conversation, “You know me Mama, whatever you need. I got you…”

“Listen, do you hear that? Isn’t it wonderful?” She turns and droops a bit. “It’s called music. And they’re not capable of producing it.” She points toward earth. “It’s coming from a future group.” She begins to sway and alternately blink different colors like a strobe light.

“Asteroid, this music sounds like you. It’s what you sound like when you’re moving around, if there were sound. And, moon this one reminds me so much of you, and the way you cling to the sun, especially during your nasty little eclipses. Must you do that in public?”

The moon soothes Mama, “Jealousy….not a good look for you girl.”

The asteroids hover near the moon, “Yeah Mama, this music stuff is really nice. What do we get out of the deal this time? We don’t want to just make a big move and burn up and that’s it.”

“The three of you asteroids will become known as the Great Lakes.” She turns to the largest asteroid, “You will become known as the Grand Canyon.”

The moon becomes agitated, “What about me Mamacita? You know the sun is kind of clingy. She won’t let me out of her sight.”

“Well, I have a plan. I will go down and talk to someone about sending visitors to see you every once and awhile, that way you can stay at home and help keep the fires burning.”

“That’s it?” Moon seems unsatisfied.

“No, you and the Sun will help me cause a few earthquakes and move the land mass around a bit.”

“Girl, now you’re talking. I like that plan. Moving and shaking.” The moon begins to salsa with the Sun.

“The point of all this is to get rid of those monsters and get the music bumping.” Mama says.

The Sun jumps into the conversation, “What about me? I want visitors too. I don’t want anyone near my moon.”

“See, I told you. Clingy.” The moon twirls his mustache, then his finger in the Sun’s direction.

“All right everyone come close,” Mama whispers, “I’ll tell you how we’ll pull this off. Get in a huddle.”

Meanwhile on earth…

“Damn, what is that noise?” A male raptor asks its mate.

“You mean outside?” The female raptor responds.

“Yeah, I’m trying to get some rest. Hunting was tiring today. Me, Earl and Quinton took down a big one. It nearly fell on me. I had to hustle to get of the way.” The male raptor explains.

“You feel that?” The female raptor says.

“Yeah, there it is again.” The male raptor responds.

The earth shakes, rocks tumble and crumble and the dinosaurs stampede and bellow.

The raptor looks outside its cave, “Look, everyone is rushing around in circles. They better not bring that shit up in here.” The male raptor announces.

The raptor looks up to the sky, “Where’s the sun? Ouch, what’s that raining down, it stings.” Says the male raptor

“Mommy, my skin is burning.” A smaller raptor says.

“Come inside. Don’t go out again until I say it’s safe.” The mother raptor says.

A T-Rex sticks his head in the cave entrance.

“Whoa, where you going man?” The male raptor asks

The T-Rex responds, “Is this Niecy’s spot? She told me if I ever needed a friend, I could come by here.”

“Ray, let him in. That’s my play cousin Robeson from back in the day.” The mother raptor says.

“Girl, I didn’t know you were connected like that,” Ray says.

Ray steps aside as T-Rex fits himself into the cave. “It’s going down Niecy. The Pterodactyl just up and stopped flying; fell completely out of the sky; then he disintegrated right before my eyes,” Robeson cries.

“What? Sabrina come in here and bring all the kids!” Niecy says.

“It’s hot in here. I can’t breathe.” A smaller raptor says.

“There’s cool water deeper down, let’s go in that direction for now. We’ll check on things outside tomorrow.” The mother raptor says.

But tomorrow never came as the entryway to the cave became sealed shut and the raptor family lived the rest of its life in that cave. They say if you travel to its center, you will find the raptors and their friends living as if nothing ever changed for them. But remember to call first. Like anyone else, raptors hate to be surprised by unannounced visitors, but they’d love to have you for lunch. The End.

Copyright © 2011 Kimberly Yarbrough Carpenter

Music Suggestion: Timbaland, Give It To Me
Aretha Franklin, Dr. Feelgood
Stevie Nicks, Edge of Seventeen
U2, Mysterious Ways
Cee Lo Green, My Kind of People


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