It’s Wednesday, February 15, 2012 the day after Valentine’s Day and men around the world are looking in their mirrors questioning how they allowed themselves to be robbed, manipulated and plain ole mugged by the flower, candy, balloon, card, stuffed animal consortium known as C.U.P.I.D.
As a day of self-affirmation and research, I walked into Kroger on Valentine’s Day and hung around the fresh flower stand. I’m telling you, men were stumbling about in the fog of how much do I have to spend to get a partner or keep a partner quiet on this one day and can I get sex like R. Kelly is peeping from my closet? That’s what it’s all about. Love doesn’t factor into this day at all.
Those $20 roses are for singles, so don’t go cheap on the flowers if you want a lap dance.
If you are in a relationship, send candy on a off day. Take me to dinner in the middle of the week. Wash my clothes or offer to fill my refrigerator. Pay my student loans, car note and house note. Take me on a vacation tour that begins and ends with a kiss, because I’m so into you I would never notice that we never left the room.
Music: Stevie Wonder, “If You Really Love Me” and Lil’ Kim, “If You Love Me”